Are you exhausted by roommates who think the sink is a self-cleaning dishwasher? Escape the chaos! I’m offering a peaceful, drama-free haven for just $600/month, including all utilities. That’s right—your money actually covers everything.
I’m looking for one majestic human who is clean, reliable, and owns a working calendar. Rent is due on the 3rd—no time-travel excuses accepted! This space is strictly for a solo occupant; no couples allowed. A background check is required (we enjoy mysteries, but not that kind).
If you are serious about being a respectful tenant, reply with a brief self-description and your phone number. Bonus points if you genuinely love vacuuming.
Tours are available until someone awesome moves in. Will it be you?